Walking in Circles

Joseph held his hand to his eyes, surveying the desert landscape. Nothingness stretched forth in every direction. He did not like calling it a “wilderness” because that ascribed too much to it. It was nothing. A nothingness.

“Hey, Joe! Do you see anything?”

Joseph slowly lowered his hand and turned. “Why, yes, Samuel. I do.”

“What? Where? I’d like to see!” Samuel ran over to Joseph’s side and peered into the void. “I don’t see anything.”

“Down there,” Joseph urged him. “You really have to get low to the ground to see it.” Samuel lowered himself onto the sand.

“Nope. I still don’t see anything. What am I looking for?”

“Are you sure, Sam? It’s practically under your nose.” Several moments passed before Samuel’s eyes were able to focus on the dark opening in the sand before him. He froze and whispered to Joseph out of the side of his mouth.

“Is that what I think it is?”

“If you think it’s a snake hole, then yes.”

Samuel rolled across the ground as if his garments had suddenly burst into flame. He crushed several neatly piled stacks of manna and toppled a woman bearing an earthen pitcher. The pitcher shattered, spraying shards of pottery and precious water everywhere. The woman scrambled wildly for a fist-sized rock with which to voice her anger. Samuel quickly vanished in a cloud of dust.

Later that evening, once the sun had turned its angry, red face from the descendants of Abraham, Samuel came out of the shadows. Joseph motioned quietly to him, but Samuel made a point of not speaking. Joseph decided to let it be.

“What if I’d been bitten, or stoned to death?” Samuel pouted. “Would you then have laughed so hard?”

“My dear brother Samuel, I guess the good Lord was shining his face on both of us.” Joseph, who was much bigger than his friend, embraced Samuel. “Come, don’t be angry with me. Let’s eat!” Samuel tried to act disinterested.

“What do you have to eat?” He finally asked.

“Manna, Samuel.” Joseph spoke softly, reminding himself under his breath that Samuel was a fool.

“Do you have any quail?” Samuel inquired.

“Yes. Yes, I do.”

“Manna and quail. My favorites!”

Joseph and Samuel blessed their heavenly provisions and ate together in silence. The night soon grew cold. Joseph drew two, heavy blankets from a sack and handed the warmest one to his friend. They covered up and fell fast asleep.

Joseph had a dream that night. He dreamt that they had taken a wrong turn out there in the wilderness. The sky was filled with flames and burning sand. He tried to cry out to the people, but they could not hear him. He stumbled towards Moses, waving his arms and trying to get close enough to shout to him. Moses! Where are you leading us? We have got to get back to Egypt! But, every time he drew near a stampede of golden calves with flared nostrils and sparkling eyes would cut him off. This went on through the night. When dawn came, Joseph’s eyes were bloodshot and his neck was sore.

“Samuel.” He shook his friend by the shoulder. “Samuel. Wake up!” Samuel pulled his blanket tight and jerked his shoulder away. “Samuel! You’ve got to get up this instant!” Joseph took him by both shoulders and lifted him up off the ground.

“I’m up! I’m up! Only put me down! What’s got you so upset?”

“We’ve got to go Samuel.”

“Of course we do. That’s what we’re doing. I don’t suppose it would be ‘wandering’ if we stayed put.” Samuel started to lay back down.

“No!” Joseph lifted Samuel back to his feet. “We’ve got to go back. Back to Egypt.”

“Back to Egypt! Are you crazy!” Samuel was now wide-awake. “Have you forgotten all that’s happened? We were slaves. Now we’re free. God sent Moses to deliver us!” Samuel was extremely agitated and raising his voice. People were starting to awake and prepare for the days journey.

“For God’s sake keep quiet! Samuel, listen to me—“

“No, Joseph. You listen. I may be a fool, but you try to go back to Egypt against God’s will and you’ll surely die. He’ll strike you dead before He lets you set foot again on that unhappy shore. Do you honestly believe He’ll part the sea once more for your return? Who’s the bigger fool?”
The look on Samuel’s face told Joseph everything he needed to know. “Farewell Samuel. May God be gracious unto you. I would rather die walking in a straight line back to Egypt than die walking in circles to nowhere.”

“Joseph! Don’t go.” Samuel called out to his friend, but Joseph could no longer hear.

* * *

Several days had passed since Joseph left his friend and their people in the wilderness. His feet were cracked and dry. His tongue was swollen and his lips were numb. Joseph held his hand to his eyes. That old familiar nothingness stretched out in every direction, but this time he faced it alone. During the day the sun set the very air on fire, scorching his lungs and wringing every drop of moisture from his body. By night the fire turned to ice and he shivered in the sand beneath the cold stare of the moon.

On the third night Joseph had another dream. This time he was back in Egypt beneath the cruel hand of Pharaoh. Each crack of the whip, each new stripe across his back replaced the terror of never finding the Promised Land with the comforting certainty of doom.

“For saving you from death in the wilderness!” Pharaoh shouted as he raised his arm high above his head. Shhhwip-pack!

“Thank you.” Joseph strained through clenched teeth.

“For delivering you from hunger and thirst!” Shhhwip-Pack!

“Thank you.”

“For releasing you from blindness!” Shhhwip-PACK!

The next morning found Joseph barely alive. His body was broken and his spirit was shattered. He set his face to the blush of the eastern horizon, wishing only to see the sun rise once more. You could already feel the air warming. Far off in the distance, coming straight out of the sun, Joseph thought he could make out the figure of a man growing larger with each passing moment. He watched it as long as he was able, but his strength failed him and he collapsed.

* * *

Joseph. A voice called to him. Joseph! You have turned your back to me and forsaken my ways! What do you have to say for yourself?

Joseph was only able to weakly whisper, “Mercy. Only mercy, Holy Father.”

“Joseph. Joseph! It’s me, Samuel!”

Joseph slowly opened his eyes and tried to focus on the dark form kneeling before him. Samuel was moistening Joseph’s parched lips with a cool, wet rag. “Samuel? Is that you? How did you find me?”

“Hush. Not now brother Joseph. We can talk later. For now, you must rest.”

When Joseph opened his eyes again, the sun had set and stars were brightening in the sky. He felt warm and safe beneath a heavy blanket. A small campfire whispered and snapped quietly nearby. Raising himself on one elbow, Joseph peered into the desert night. Samuel was nowhere to be found. Tiring quickly, he turned over and fell asleep.

In the morning Joseph was still alone. The fire had burned down but continued to radiate warmth. Joseph tossed the blanket aside and stood, stretching and yawning. His mind was clear and he felt his strength returning.

“Samuel!” He called. “SAMUEL!” The only answer was the gentle hush of the morning breeze across the sand. Joseph noticed a small, neatly wrapped bundle on the ground before him and laughed out loud to find that it was bread.

“HEY! JOE!” A voiced suddenly echoed all around him. Joseph spun on his heel.

“Sam! Where are you?”

“Over Here! Look Up! Do You See The Vultures?” Samuel’s voice rung out excitedly.

“Yes! Yes, I Do! Are You There?” Joseph started running toward the spot over which the scavengers circled.

“No! I Thought That’s Where You Were!”

Joseph stopped. He pinched his nose and thought carefully about what to say.

“Samuel! Listen To Me! I Would Like Very Much To Find You Before Either Of Us Dies! Are You Somewhere You Could Remain Until I Come To You?”

“Yes! I’m Standing In The Shadow Of A Great Rock! It’s Five Times The Height Of Anything Around! You Can’t Miss It!”

If it had not taken Joseph so long to reach this great rock he would almost certainly have strangled Samuel. Nevertheless, they found each other in its shadow and it was a joyful thing. Samuel shared his water and Joseph his bread. They partook in silence, happy just to be together again.

“Well, Joe, I guess now we’re even.”

“How do you mean?” Joseph looked puzzled.

“We’ve each saved the other’s life.” Joseph thought long and hard, but could not remember ever having saved his friend’s life.

“When did I ever save your life?”

Samuel proceeded to tell Joseph of how he had tried to come after him. “Not to follow you to Egypt, mind you. But… well I couldn’t just leave you to die in the wilderness alone.”

A bit of sand must have gotten into Joseph’s eyes and he found himself having to blink several times to clear them. When he spoke his voice felt strange and thick. “Go on.”

"Well, on the morning of the fourth day, I thought I’d be the one dying out here alone. I hadn’t a drop of water left. I fell to my knees, repented of my foolishness and prayed for you, Joseph. No sooner had I finished my prayer, than you were at my side. You lifted me up in your arms and carried me to this here rock. It kept cool by day and held its warmth at night. When I awoke this morning to find you gone, I thought you might have gone out to look around. You had replenished the water but neglected to take any with you. When I heard you calling my name, it sounded as though you were in trouble. So, I climbed to the top of this rock and answered you. And, here we are. Lost in the wilderness together.” Samuel finished his story and leaned back taking another bite of bread. Joseph stood before him deep in thought.

“Do you hear that?” Joseph cocked his head to one side.

“What?”

“Shhh! That!”

Samuel closed his eyes and held his breath. At first he thought Joseph’s humor had returned and that this was another trick. After several moments the sound became unmistakable.

“Yes. Yes I do! I hear it!” Samuel and Joseph scrambled to the top of the rock. They could clearly see a low cloud of dust rising from the horizon and hear a large procession making its way toward them. It was Moses and Israel’s children.

* * *

Later that night as the wandering nation lay sleeping all around, Joseph whispered softly to Samuel.

“Samuel?”

“Yes Joseph.”

“When you said we were lost in the wilderness together.”

“Yes?”

“You were wrong, you know. About us being lost.”

“I know.”

“Goodnight Samuel.”

“Goodnight.”