The Shadow of a Doubt

I could tell you I wasn’t jealous. But, you’d see right through me. The truth is I would give anything to walk, like you, in the light. Try living your life as a faded copy or silent echo of someone else’s.

You know those things at playgrounds – one of you gets hoisted into the air while the other plants their feet on the ground? What are they called? Teeter totters! That’s it; or seesaws. Funny thing about seesaws. The heavier person, the more substantial one, whoever has the most mass; well, they kind of get to drive the bus, don’t they? That, my well-lit friend, would be you. Every time. All the time. ‘Till the end of time.

You see, I’m a shadow.

There’s a scene from the 1953 animated feature Peter Pan that touches the heart of every shadow. You know the one. And, you probably remember it as the part where Peter sneaks into the children’s bedroom, finds his shadow, and teaches everyone to fly. Well, it’s not! It’s where one, brave shadow tries to become something – someone – more.

Sadly, he gets sewn back onto Peter’s feet and ends up spending the rest of the story back on the seesaw with Peter. Perhaps worse off than before for having looked, with his own eyes, upon the face of brightness. Escape, it would seem, is not the way.

What’s a shadow to do?

You may have heard of a man named Saul, and what happened to him on the road to Damascus? This man, who was more shadow than man, wasn’t just blinded by the light. He dissolved into it! Everything in him that was not light got burned away. The dark and empty space that walked like Saul and spoke like him was filled and made real. Dissolving into the light made Saul something – someone – more.

There’s a whole world out there beyond the forms and shadows that are my life. All I ask is the strength – or the weakness – needed to let go of one so that I might embrace and receive the other.

Just like you have.